I don't even know where to begin. My heart is dancing around in my chest. I'm going through moments of complete and utter high's and other moments where I'm thinking about whether I've kept the potatoes in the oven for too long because I'm trying to cook dinner for myself yet my butterflies and excitement keep leading me back to my computer.
I woke up a few days ago to an immense surprise. Secret Garden has been featured and is Trending on Bored Panda.com and has now moved to "Popular". I have seen photographers go viral from this website so you can imagine how hard and far my jaw dropped. There are just so many emotions going through me right now. It's extremely hard to contain.
At times I feel proud because I know how much work has gone into the series. Hell I have been working like a maniac for almost seven years now to get my photography out there. At times I am so distraught with worry that the negative comments will come crashing in like a tidal wave and at other times I am just so happy that Secret Garden and the garden's message will be heard just a little bit louder. After all the series is for charity.
These last few days have changed my life in so many different ways. I know it's such a simple thing but the way I feel now about the series is stronger then ever because there is so much I want to do with it. There has been so much I have wanted to do since I shot The Ice Queen clutching her little vintage globe.
I have been receiving messages everyday with people reaching out to share kind words with me and e-mails for future features and interviews. With every single one that I read my optimism only grows stronger and stronger. It's like the positivity is fueling me. There is also the other side of the coin. Like with anything when you put your heart and soul into something and you put yourself out their you become vulnerable.
Every doubt in your mind rushes to your head and your heart. I know there has been some negativity towards what I am doing because that is the big bad world of being online. I had a little bit of a struggle with this. I know, I know I should be used to it because my work has literately been out in the internet universe since 2008. I have had my fair share of negativity, online and in real life. I have had my work shredded to smithereens by people and teachers. I have been bullied by other photographers. It's insane to think that this much actually happens to artists and on the regular. I am sure there are millions of artists who could relate. However and this is an enormous HOWEVER! In the last 3 days I have learned a very valuable lesson.
The positivity, the love from others and the strength within always outweighs the negative. I let myself feel the doubt and the insecurities of having such a personal side of my art out there reaching thousands of people. I took it in with all the other emotions, the happiness the excitement. I took it all in, felt what I needed to feel and let it all go. I feel like now I am truly ready to take the next step as an artist and with the Garden series.
In the last few days the series has been featured on a slew of websites. In Russian, French, Chinese, Croatian and languages that i don't even recognize. I keep finding more and more articles about the series and I am just so blown away. It's just me in my little attic every month inhaling the fumes of spray paint sometimes to the point where I need to stick my head out of an open window and just breathe.
It's a beautiful model friend, Jillian, Katie and I every month hanging out and having fun. We never take anything too seriously we are always just having fun and feeling the moment. I couldn't ask for better people to come and join me every month. I honestly know how lucky I am.
I want to finish this up with a few things....
Please head over to SLR Lounge to check out the wonderful article about the garden. It was seriously one of my most heart warming articles I have ever read about my work.
Also, My gigantic interview with the organization BeMoreDoMore is now up. I was asked to be a part of their female empowerment month and I was beyond excited about this. Anytime I get the opportunity to send a positive message out into the world I will gladly take it.
Lastly but not least, like with all of my "life" blog posts I wanted to share a little bit about what's going on. The prospect of going to Europe this spring came up early this week and I have been so excited since. Now it's final and I will be heading back to Europe in May. I definitely want to put some shoots together too.
I am beyond excited because my husband and I will joining my sister, her husband and my amazing niece. The thing I love about my niece is how much being with her and around her makes you forget the world. You get pulled into that tiny little world of hers and nothing else matters except for what she wants you to do. What matters it that you play with her and keep her excited and happy. It brings me to a place of true peace. I can't wait to spend that time with her in Europe.
So as this comes to an end I wanted to leave with some photos from Valentine's day with my husband. We visited a nearby greenhouse because I wanted to photograph in it so I asked "A" if we could scope it out. It was a little paradise on one of the coldest days of the year. As I sat there taking in the warmth that I so missed I thought about my life, my future and the dreams that I so often live in. I had no idea that the next few days would become such large ones in my simple little life. But they have and I have learned a lot.