Last year of the twenties


The last year of being in my twenties and I often wonder where the heck did the time go? Was I not just a rebelious teenager getting ready for a day of novelty in my low rise bell bottoms and naval baring tube top? (yes, my outfit choices as a teenager are telling of my age). These days I prefer napping, being comfortable in baggy jeans and a t-shirt, gardening and staying in to make costumes, props and ofcourse photographing. I have become quite boring and much less seeking of excitement. Though I still welcome the novelty in life and I don't feel any more of an adult then I did 10 years ago. I still have a wild imagination and gidish childish outlook on life. I am actually much stranger of a person then I ever have been and I feel more comfortable that way.

Though it does feel odd this whole "last year of my 20's" thing. It makes me nervous. I thought I would be much more successful at this age, I thought that I would have it all together. I don't. Not even close. I probably have it less together. A few months ago I proclaimed to my husband that I was going to be an artist this year and that was all I was going to do. I don't think anyone wants to hear their loved ones say I am going to do nothing but make art and hope that it sells somewhere, someday at some point. Isn't it a perfect time though? on the cusp of my thirties to give a real go at making art ?. Heck, I have been photographing now for 9 years!!! 9 whole years why wouldn't I try to make the thing I love become (and I hate using this word) successful. Enough now with the rambling and instead I'll make this list of a few things I have learned coming into the last year of my twenties.

- It's time to stop comparing ourselves. At this point you realize that everyone's journey is so different from your own.

- It's time to be comfortable in our own bodies and own skin. Ain't nobody got time for that.

- It's time to be honest to ourselves when we find ourselves in a repetitive situation.

- Realize I still have sooo much more to learn. The learning never ends.

- There's no such thing as being a good "adult" You just kind of get thrown into it.

- Hold on to your child like imagination for it will serve you in your adult years if you let it (i.e Secret Garden)

- Be passionate, love passionatley and do things with passion.

- Really, it is true what they say surround yourself with amazing people who lift you up.

- There will be people who want to see you fail, there will be times when you feel like you can't do it anymore, there will be times where you believe the false words of others, there will be times you feel like you are a complete failure.... ignore it, grow from it, rise up from it and just try to be better. You don't have time for that shit anymore.

- Your 30's doesn't mean your old....... still don't know about this one. Will have to tell you how I feel next year ;)

- Make art always!


Category: diary
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